become the clout, stop chasing it

i nearly talked myself out of it.

my foot was bouncing rapidly, my hunger was gone...

i was eating dinner at a local restaurant here in Freetown, Sierra Leone

i was alone

its one of my favorite ways to unwind, think & chill after a long day.

i'd just order the chicken wings with the peanut sauce, a diet coke with lime, & a chicken tawouk platter with hummus.

i was sitting away from everyone up on an elevated part of the restaurant that looks over the oceans.

while responding to whatsapp messages & checking my email something caught my eye.

i had to do a double take.

one of the most powerful & influential men in this country had just walked in.

i knew what i had to do. this was the day.

you have to understand i've been trying to reach this man for 7 years.

13 facebook messages over 7 years.

he saw every one of them and chose to respond to zero.

ah, but what you dont know about me is i have no shame.

i get what i want.

& despite being irritated by his lack of enthusiasm (to be it lightly) to even engage in conversation with me, i was still determined to make sure this guy knew who i was.

i stood up, i walked directly to him and introduced myself.

i complimented him on some of his recent work.

name dropped 2 friends that he knows very well.

& then swiftly left the restaurant.

he couldn't have been less interested.

he barely turned his shoulder toward me, didn't shake my hand, and seemed bothered by my interruption.

i've thought a lot about that interaction.

at first i was upset & angry & just felt animosity toward him.

but as the days have passed i've put myself in his shoes and honestly... i might have done the same thing.

how many people does he have come up to him that probably are looking for something.

money? maybe.

approval? perhaps.

clout? no doubt.

who am i to him?

what makes me interesting enough that he would even care to know me.

i've spent much of the last 10 years clout chasing.

i wouldn't ever admit that's what i was doing but the reality is, thats exactly what it was.

trying to get a dinner with this person or that person because they are the business partner of (insert interesting celebrity/influencer).

going to events whether i assumed these people hung out, in hopes of shaking that hand or getting that picture.

& if im really lucky, might even get followed on IG!

thinking that somehow a picture with a big name would give me clout.

how pathetic.

my lightbulb moment

this recent experience was the cure i needed to see things as they really are.

how about instead of trying to constantly be around these people

i become one of them.

someone that doesn't chase the clout, but someone that is the clout

a person that other people want to get in rooms with, come up to on the street, get a photo with on IG.

how about i focus on BECOMING.

the best gosh dang version of nick wood i can become.

& quit worry about all that nonsense.

its a bit embarrassing to admit, but its freeing to be on the other side of it.

my commitment to myself & to you guys is to BECOME.

the greatest version of myself i can become.

no matter what im doing.

& to quit stressing over trite & inconsequential things.

the bottom line

stop.

quit trying to be friends with "the popular kids."

it sounds like something reserved for high school, but that's exact what i've been doing for 10 years.

pick something & commit to BECOMING world class at that thing.

bonus points if that thing is extremely difficult to do.

chasing clout is fleeting.

becoming "the clout" is forever.

life is short, go buy time.